Get Off My Desert Lawn!

Tag: commercials

  • The Boob Tube

    Is there anything worse than someone thinking you’re stupid?

    Yes.

    Someone knowing you are.

    I just watched a Reese’s commercial for their Chocolate Lava cup. In it, they show people trying to get to actual lava while the authorities try to stop them.

    Yes, I know it’s for comedic effect, but is it really?

    A few years ago, when Uber expanded to Uber Eats, they had a commercial where celebrities ate items like soap. Uber Eats actually had to put out another commercial asking people to not eat soap.

    Now that’s funny.

    Who on Earth thinks ‘My favorite actor ate a bar of soap. I should try.’

    This is probably the same type of person that would perform an idiotic stunt for Tik Tok.

    Another recent commercial that comes to mind is for home insurance. A couple purchases a house and is horrified to find the neighbors have a large pen full of goats.

    How did these people buy this house? Online? Maybe with some virtual staging?

    if this couple didn’t see, hear, or smell the goats when their agent first showed them the house, I have to wonder how they make it through life?

    Possibly they make Tik Tok videos?

    If I wrote down everything wrong with advertising these days, I could probably write a novel, but I have things to do. The only thing I can think of is maybe my grandparents were right.

    I should stop watching the boob tube.

  • You’re Stupid!

    Why not just come out and tell us?

    I just watched a commercial for Starbucks. It was closed captioned, which we all know (hopefully), is meant for the hard of hearing. It makes life easier by letting them read what’s going on when they can’t hear it.

    Starbucks should be commended for closed captioning the commercial, right? No. Not when you put Baba O’Reilly between music signs.

    If you can’t hear, how do you know what Baba O’Reilly, or any song for that matter, sounds like?

    It makes zero sense.

    But someone approved it.

    Which brings me to the Aquasana commercial.

    They have one where their spokesman has two glasses of water. He states one is Aquasana and the other is dirty tap water.

    Yuck.

    He goes through his pitch of how great Aquasana is, but at the end can’t figure out which glass has the Aquasana water. He even says, “Wait, which one is it?”

    if you want me to know how safe your water is over regular water, shouldn’t you know which water is bad to drink?

    Now that I think about it, it doesn’t matter anyway. We need to drink water to wash down the pills we need to take.

    You know the ones. The pills that will make us look good but are killing us internally.

    You want to lose weight? No problem.

    Get rid of itchy skin? Again, no problem.

    You can clear anything up. Hell, you’ll even be able to dance in the streets with like-minded people. So what’s the problem?

    Nothing. Unless you want diarrhea that makes Mt. Vesuvius look like a 3rd grade science project. If that’s not enough, you’ll probably want to kill yourself.

    They do warn you not to take the drug if you’re allergic to it. That’s good because that might kill us.

    I don’t think we’re that stupid.